I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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