The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
