i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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