I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
