You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
