Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
