he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
