so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I stole a fireplace last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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