dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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