I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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