You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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