We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
