She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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