Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
