bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize