His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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