Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
