My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
