if only i could text you this smell
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
