I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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