I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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