i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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