dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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