Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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