another moral hangover. fuck.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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