My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
