either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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