This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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