Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
