I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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