i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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