just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize