waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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