you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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