the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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