New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
