You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
