just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
