Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
