I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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