My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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