she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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