So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
