It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize