I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
two words...techno handjob
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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