So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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