He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
