TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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