I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
