So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
