so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
