i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
