I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
