Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
