toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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