look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
