three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He better not be in your backpack
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
