We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
