Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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