its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
