if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
