I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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