that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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