He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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